Springfield Stories

· 2 min read

There were two random small stories in the Springfield News-Leader that I came across as a kid that are still with me today.

The first was about the police arresting a man running naked through the Battlefield Mall parking lot. When asked, he allegedly said he was “chasing Jesus”.

My first question, the one I still have after all these years is: what if he was? Granted, public decency is important so I understand why the police did this.

But I still have questions:

  • What would he have done if he had caught up to him?
  • How did he get there? (note: at this time, the Battlefield Mall was on the edge of town. It is a place you would go to intentionally, not a place you’d end up randomly.)
  • What would Jesus be doing at the mall?

My mom could not understand my fascination with this story. I remember riding my bike and yelling “there’s Jesus!” and pedaling even faster. It was a joke only I understood, which was absolutely fine.

The second was an assault where a man at a Taco Bell allegedly threw a bean burrito at an employee and was arrested.

The specificity of this story is what did it for me. A bean burrito. The detail of the specific burrito made it into the police reports and was also repeated by the news.

I know that Taco Bell. It’s on Glenstone near Division. I could see this happening at that Taco Bell for a specific reason: at the time that Taco Bell was the hangout spot on weekends.

My main questions here are procedural:

  • If you threw a bean burrito and knew the store had called the police, why did you stick around? Did you think it was justified? Like the police would get there and say “we get it, we would have thrown the bean burrito as well”
  • Why throw a bean burrito? They are delicious. Taco Bell sauce packets are likely better for throwing and they cost you nothing.

I hope the man that got arrested for this is still around and can tell the story.

I have tried to find these stories by browsing old issues. My search history is evidence. They are lost forever though.

Update: I checked. The Taco Bell is still there. It's open until 4 AM.